THE REASON

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Summary : Zack escapes from Manticore and turns to max for help. This is set after BBWW but before TKAA and is answer to Eternity’s challenge. See end.

Max sat up as soon as she heard the thump, the noise was so inconspicuous it would probably gone unnoticed by most people, but then she wasn’t most people Max stood up silently and swiftly and headed towards the living room.

As she entered the living room she adjusted herself to the light and tried to home in on who or what had caused the disturbance.

As her eyes settled on the odd thing out in her living room Max felt herself stiffen with shock.

Max dived forward and managed to catch him before he could hit the ground fully; as she turned him round in her arms she felt her breath catch. She surveyed the damage to him, his face was covered in mottled bruises, and she dreaded to think what the rest of him was like.

Max felt the guilt crawling in her gut. She had caused this, he had turned himself in for her, he had went back to Manticore for her and she, she had run back to Logan, had ignored everything her heart was telling her and ran for her life back to what was safe, what she could control. Zack hadn’t seen that, he had seen her risk her life, risk his life to return to Logan. He hadn’t seen her fear, hadn’t understood her motives, he had simply witnessed her betrayal. Max killed off her thoughts as she felt Zack move in her arms.

“Shhh, it’s okay Zack, it’s ok, I’ve got you, you’re ok, No-one is going to hurt you, oh god we gotta get you cleaned up”

Max lifted Zack into her arms and headed towards the bathroom. As she filled the bath up with warm water she turned her attention to Zack. Logically she knew that she had to get him into the bath, the quicker his wounds were cleaned the quicker they would heal, but right now she was having problems getting her mind to think logically.

Mac kneeled down and started to unbutton Zack’s shirt, as she slipped off his shirt Max breath caught again and she had to fight herself from crying, his body was covered in bruises and welts, he was so badly injured it was hard to see any skin covering his body that wasn’t covered in some sort of wound. She knew that he would fight if he were sent back to Manticore she had just forgotten how rough they could be on anyone who didn’t obey the rules.

They had all been lucky really. Zack had always tried to make sure that they never hurt them, even when it meant taking the brunt himself. He had taken more beatings than anyone back at Manticore, most of the time for things that had been nothing to do with him, but that was Zack, always the protector.

They had been in trouble all day today, Lydecker had been furious about the red balloon incident and had put them all through the wringer for it.

It had all been her fault, she had been the one who spotted the balloon, it was because of her that Zack had went up to get it and because of her he had fought with the guards and now everyone was lying here, tired and in pain all because of her Max felt the sob catch in her throat, it wouldn’t do for the guards to see one of them crying, she tried to fight it but she felt the sobs start to rack her body and she buried her face in the pillow to drown out any noise.

As the sobs started to subside she felt an arm wrap tightly around her, she didn’t have to turn around to know it was Zack. He had always done this for them. Whenever any of them had been upset Zack had been there, to hold them, to comfort them or just to sit with them, it had gone on longer than Max could remember.

As she settled back into Zack’s arms Max felt herself relax, she felt Zack stroke her hair and she started to drift off to sleep, before sleep could fully claim her Max had one last thought, in all the time that she had known Zack to comfort them, she had never seen anyone comfort him, no-one held him when he needed to cry or comforted him when he was feeling down.

Before Max could stop herself she slipped her hand down and clasped it round Zack’s, she felt him stiffen slightly as she knew he would but she kept her hand there, she waited for a couple of minutes and when she felt his body relax again she laced her fingers with his and gave them a squeeze. As she was drifting off to sleep she was sure that she felt Zack give her hand a slight squeeze in return.

Max looked down at the man lying in front of her. In so many ways he was the same as the Zack that she remembered but again so different, or maybe it was her that was different now.

Max lifted Zack up and placed him gently in the bath as she started to wash his wounds she felt him stir.

“Hey, calm down, I’m just trying to clean you off” Max gently eased Zack back against the tub “You were in a pretty bad way when you got here.

Zack looked up at Max seeing the concern in her eyes he forced himself to relax he knew she meant well but.

“Look I’m ok I was only out for a little while, I can finish the rest by myself”

“Forget it buddy, you were unconscious, you have received several nasty bumps on the head and I am not leaving you alone, so you might as well just get used to me being here”

Zack looked up, as he saw the obstinate set of her shoulders and the defiant look in her eye, he knew there was no point in arguing, but he was washing himself, no way was he going to lie there and let her wash him.

“Ok, how about we compromise, you wash the body, I’ll take the head, ‘k?”

“Maybe you are but hey it’ll keep me occupied and besides I always wanted to be a stylist, maybe after you let me wash it, I could do some work on it, add some streaks, take away some of the length” Max smiled down at him

Zack sighed, “Ok, ok you win you can have the head, but I’m warning you I see any sign of pink dye and I’ll kick your butt” Zack smiled at Max.

That was the thing about Max you could never stay mad at her, she would either smile, hit out with some wisecrack or simply turn those big doe eyes on you, and before you could blink you would forget what you were mad about in the first place. Besides it was only his head, how much damage could she do with that.

Ten minutes later Zack found out just how much damage Max could do with his head. He felt like he had died and went straight to heaven, or hell depending on which way you looked at it. Every time her fingers slipped through his hair and massaged his scalp he felt like turning round and bringing her into the bath with him. He never realised how erotic someone touching his head could be.

No someone Zack reminded himself, not just someone but Max, It was Max who was rubbing her soft hands through his hair it was Max who was pushed up against him, her breasts swaying against his arm, it was Max’s scent he could smell invading his senses and making him feel light-headed. It would be so easy to turn round and take her in his arms, to pull her into the bathtub with him and lose himself completely in that smell, in that touch, in those lips.

Zack brought himself to with a shake, this was Max, little Max, a girl he had regarded as a sister.

He knew even as he thought it that that wasn’t true, he hadn’t thought of Max as a sister for going on 4 years now, ever since the first time he had tracked her down in Seattle and realised that the little girl he had left behind had turned into one of the most beautiful creatures he had ever seen in his life.

Zack felt himself turn around towards her slightly, before he could stop himself a darker thought crossed his mind. This was Max and Max was in love with Logan, Max had fought HIM for Logan.

As he looked up at her and saw the hurt in her eyes, he almost started to apologise

“Yeah I guess it is, well I’ll let you finish yourself, I’ll go in and fix us up something to eat”

Zack turned back to cleaning his wounds, telling himself that it was for the best.

“You call me soldier one more time and those bruises you’ve got will seem like a walk in the park, Got it?”

Max looked down at him in the bath, maybe it was time to have some fun, she examined his body from head to toe here eyes lingering a little longer than necessary in certain area, as she made her way up to his face, she could see the nerve ticking in his jaw, he was like a walking time bomb, she wondered how far she could push him before it blew, Max decided to push the boat out a little and test the waters.

Zack felt his body stiffen as Max walked back towards him, he could feel every nerve cell in his body humming as she leaned down and put her mouth to his ear.

As Max straightened back up and left the room Zack let out the breath, he didn’t even know he was holding.

Zack finished drying himself off. He could hear Max whistling through the thin walls off the apartment. *What she so damn cheerful about?* Zack it was well past time to go through, he couldn't keep putting it off forever. Zack allowed himself a wry smile, what a picture this would make to Lydecker, him, CO of the X-5 series, hiding in a bathroom rather than facing a small fiery brunette. Zack sighed and headed towards the living room.

"Ah so you're finally out then, I thought you were planning on lounging in their for the rest of the evening"

Zack felt himself tense, he was never sure what to expect from Max but he always found playful Max a little unnerving

Max sat back down at the table and broke the bread in half, before long they were settling down to eat.

The next couple of weeks passed in a fairly similar pattern. Zack slept late while Max went to work, late afternoon she popped over to Logan's, after she came back, they went 'shopping' (at least their version of it) and then they went back and had dinner. Talked, she even stole a shot of Logan chess set and they decided to play chess. After a while it felt like he had lived there forever and the thought that sooner or later he was going was getting harder and harder to bear. It was on the fourth day that Max changed the routine. She had decided to kick it at the crash with Original Cindy and the others and for some reason, she wanted Zack to come with.

"Suit yourself" Max shrugged her shoulders and stared at Zack he had been in a funny mood all day, the last couple of days actually

Max bounced out of the room to get changed.
Zack watched Max's retreating back, he knew his refusal had hurt her but he just didn't feel like celebrating. *Yeah-right Zackie Boy, you just don't want to admit to her that you're leaving. The last couple of weeks here had been amazing, being here, for the first time in his life he had somewhere he didn't want to leave. Well tough luck soldier, you're going to have to Zack gave himself a shake, he knew he had to go through with it, Tomorrow he decided, he would leave tomorrow and he'll tell Max tonight

Max surveyed the clothes on her bed, for some reason, she just couldn't decide what to wear, it didn't usually bother her much, tonight felt different, there was something, something she just couldn't put her finer on.

Eventually she finally decided on a tight white top and a pair of tight fitting jeans. She had enjoyed the last few weeks, having Zack around had felt right somehow, it felt good seeing him in the morning, and having him as company for dinner, somehow having him here just felt, well ....right.

She knew it was only a matter of time before it ended, before he disappeared back into the shadows, then god knows when she would see him again. Max broke herself out of her reverie, she was just going to have to enjoy what she had right now, she would worry about tomorrow later.

Zack looked up as Max entered the room, he felt his breath catch as he saw her, mo matter what she wore she always managed to look breathtaking

Zack looked up at Max, Oh what the hell, One last night wasn't going to do any harm.

"Maxie, the day I have to TRY and keep up with you, is the day I relinquish my command"

"Ok then, better practise calling me boss, Boss"
Zack smiled "always with the manticore wit"

Max surveyed the room as she walked into the Crash, it was busy for a Thursday night, Sketchy was practising his bike tricks and Original Cin was sitting in the corner with a cute young girl with blonde hair.

"Emm, They're a little busy!" Max pointed in the direction of Sketchy and Original Cindy, both now in full pursuit of their conquests, "looks like they're in the mood for a little romancing" Max joked

Max turned to Zack, she was just about to launch into an attack when she saw the smile on his face a smile from Zack was so rare it stopped her in her track, he suited she decided, he should smile more often. He should have someone around who made him smile more often. Max quelled the funny feeling in her tummy that had occurred when she thought of some pretty girl making Zack smile. Must have been the beef she decided.

"Zack!!" Max started to smile as she saw the grin on his face "I never knew you had such a filthy tongue young man, you better watch I don't get the soap out"

Zack raised his eyebrow, "Oh, Maxie, you'd be surprised at what my tongue is capable of"
Max raised her eyebrows "Hmm, is that a threat soldier?"

Max looked at the man in front of her; talk about an enigma, you just never knew what he would be like next.

Max started to move her hips in time with the music as she reached out and took Zack's hand.

"Oh come on, you don't mean to tell me that their something our big CO can't do?"

"Cant, don't, wont! Same thing in my book come on Zackie I'm in the mood for dancing, romancing, Ahhh I've given my all tonight"

Zack smiled as he watched the girl sway from side to side while singing off key, a face of an angel she may have, the voice of an angel is another thing altogether

"Ok, ok, I'll dance, on the condition that you DON'T sing, DON'T call me Zackie and, well emm... you show me what to do" Zack put his head down but Max could just make out the slight colour on his cheeks.

Max smiled and pulled him onto the dance floor as they reached the centre they moved a little closer together and Max leaned forward slightly and placed her hands on Zack's hips.

As the beat of the music carried around them Max guided him through his first steps, as they carried on Zack started to move himself and by the end of the song Max had to laugh as she saw Zack jig along with the best of them.

As the next couple of songs continued Max taught Zack how to dance to Funk, garage, dance and even reggae towards the end of Sunshine though she just had to laugh as Zack tried to copy the moves she was showing him.

"Hey you, you never mentioned that laughing at me was part of the deal" Zack said indignantly
Max laughed again, she felt like she was on a high, she couldn't remember the last time she had enjoyed herself so much.

"Trust me honey, if you could see what I'm seeing you'd be laughing too" Max replied

"Oh is that right then, let see if I can actually give you something to laugh about"

As Zack stopped tickling her Max felt the tempo of the music change around her, as a slow sweet love song started to drift through the club

Max felt Zack draw her closer, as she felt Zack's arm slip round her waist Max felt her body relax before she could help herself, she felt her head drop on his shoulder, as they swayed slowly to the music. Max could hear Zack strong heartbeat thumping away, as she lost herself in the heat of his embrace she kept trying to tell herself that this was wrong, but to her, right now nothing felt more right.

Zack felt Max relax against him, as their bodies moved slowly together against the music, Zack tightened his arm around her waist and drew his other hand up to play with the soft strand of her hair.

Max raised her face to his as she heard him whispering her name, she could feel his hot breath on her face and she knew what question he was asking her, she knew because she had been silently whispering it to him herself.

As if of their own volition their lips started to move towards each other as their lips met in a whisper of a kiss.

As the music reached a crescendo around them their kiss deepened, they wrapped their arms tightly around each other. As everyone else continued on around them the two lovers carried on, lost to the entire world in their embrace.

Max felt herself awake more slowly than normal as she stretched, she felt her hand connect against skin, as she turned round she saw Zack lying on the bed, looking for all the world like a little boy, with his face relaxed in sleep, he looked so young and innocent. A part of her deep down knew he wouldn't be this relaxed with anyone else. Just like she wouldn't feel this safe with anyone else. She didn't sleep much, never had the need to but last night she had fallen asleep just to allow herself the pleasure of waking up with the man she loved. Loved. She had admitted it she loved Zack, probably always had, and not like a brother, that had been an excuse as much to appease herself as anyone else. After their kiss last night it felt like a switch had been released in a sort of dreamlike state they had ended up back at the apartment and before long they had ended on the bed, losing themselves in each other and their passion, over and over again.

Facing the daylight now she knew there would be repercussions, Logan for one of them, but she could face it, with Zack on her side, she felt like she could face anything She'd just have to tell Logan, hope he understood.

"Oh God Logan" Max whispered. As she felt a movement on the bed, Max turned her around
Max smiled as she watched her lover awaken.
"Hey you" she whispered
Zack opened his eyes with a start, as he sat upright Zack felt like kicking himself. He felt the hot sting of shame sweep his body at what he had done. This wasn't supposed to happen, he was leaving today, and how the hell was he supposed to tell her that now. Zack angrily started to pull his clothes on, fighting desperately against the images of last night and ho they had ended up on the floor where they lay. He felt the heat rise in his body and when he felt Max's soft hand touch his arm, it was almost more than he could bear. He pulled away angrily.

"Zack? What's the matter? Zack, Talk to me"
"Nothing's the matter Max I'm just getting ready"
"Nothing is the matter? If nothing is the matter, then why the hell can't you look at me? Zack"
"How can I?" Zack replied "How can I look at you after what I've done"
"WE Zack, What we did Zack! And there's nothing wrong with it, it was good it was special"
"It should never have happened" Zack said with force
"How can you say that, how can you just write it off as if it were nothing"
"Because I have to Max, I was leaving today, I AM leaving today, last night was a mistake, it shouldn't have happened, I shouldn't have allowed it to happen.

"Leaving" Max said dully "you're running away again, running away from me, from us"
"Dammit there is no us Maxie and if there were what do you think your loverboy would think, how are you going to explain this to your precious Logan? Huh, have you thought about that Maxie"

"Logan has nothing to do with this" Max exclaimed
"Of course he has, you love him don't you? Don't You? How are you going to explain this to him?"
"God you're impossible! I don't even know why I bother"
"Well don't" Zack replied, "I don't remember asking you to"
Max looked at him with surprise
"Fine then I wont"
"Fine!"
"Fine" Max glared at him before she stormed out and slammed the door.
Zack looked at the closed door, he hadn't meant to be so rough on her. He defiantly hadn't intended telling her he was leaving like this.

He knew she would be feeling guilty this morning over what had happened, but he had meant to talk to her, to tell her it was all right, that they were all right, but then she'd mentioned HIM. His gut always crawled with jealousy whenever he thought about Logie Boy, he would never understand just what made him think that HE the spoilt little rich boy was worthy of Max. In the end though, he's what Max wants and that was something he would just have to accept.

Oh well, Zack thought, better go and face the music.
Max busied herself in the kitchen, she could feel the anger welling up in her and tried to force it down, what was it about Zack made him act like that, so cold, so hard. But then sometimes there was something so soft, so gentle about him she could almost believe .... God how could he have written off last night so easily, like it meant nothing, she knew how much it had meant to him, she had seen it in his eyes, had felt it in his soft caresses...

"Smells good"
Max turned around with a start, she had been so lost in her thoughts, she hadn't even heard Zack approaching, she gave herself a shake, it wasn't like her not be alert, on guard, with any luck he hadn't noticed.

"Your letting yourself go Soldier, I could have been behind you and snapped your neck before you even realised what was up"

*Oh well so much for the not noticing, she should have known better*
"Look don't start me Zack, I was thinking, and I've already warned you once about the soldier cracks, I won't warn you again"

Zack snorted "thinking about what, Loverboy? Yeah that seems about right, you had that gooey look on your face" Zack shook his head in disgust "You know how many times have I got to tell you Maxie, We don't ....."

"Yeah, Yeah I know" Max broke in angrily "We're soldiers, we don't feel, we don't care, we don't get attached, we don't love, God how many times do I have to hear this speech Zack? I'm sick of it, I'm sick of you expecting me to act like A robot, no feelings no emotions, I want those feelings Zack, I want to be loved, I ...."

"You are loved Maxie, you know that, I...we all love you"
Max looked at him " I don't mean like that Zack, I want to be <I>in</I> love, I want someone to be in love with me, I want the roller coaster, the starbursts, I want all of it"

"And what happens when the roller coaster crashes Maxie, when the Starbust dies out, or worse blows up in your face, then what do you have, you're left hurt..... broken"

"That's a chance you take Zack" Max stated angrily "It comes with the territory, when you love like that you take the chance of getting hurt..."

"Yeah, well I don't want you taking that chance" Zack shouted.
As he saw the hurt look on her face, he let his voice soften, he didn't want to hurt her
"He doesn't love you Maxie, look don't butt in, I know you think he feels the same but he doesn't. He doesn't know you, he's a spoilt rich boy who sooner or later will either find another new toy, or you wont be any use to him and he'll leave you in the Dust Max, I don't want that for you. He...."

"I'm not talking about Logan"
Zack looked at her "What do you mean, who are you talking about?"
"It doesn't matter, look let's just forget about it ok"
Max turned to walk into the living room, just as she got to the door Zack grabbed her arm.
"Look Maxie...."
"No!" Max retorted angrily "You look, I'm sick of this, sick to the back teeth of it, you want to pretend it didn't happen, well it did! We kissed, we made love. Like it or lump it you have got to face up the fact that we have feelings for each other, I'm sick of hiding it, I'm sick of pretending, we're family, we're not Zack, we never were. Blood didn't put us together, fate did, and there had to be some reason behind it"

Max felt her voice soften as the rage left her, it had taken her so long to get this far, so long and she couldn't back out now, it was now or never.

"I love you Zack, I think a part of me always has, and I know you care about me, you can deny it till the day you die but you do, and if you walk away from this now...."

Max felt the rage leave her completely as she saw Zack's face, she could see the longing in his eyes, but she could also see the nerve ticking in his jaw, it was now or never and a part of her knew that knowing Zack, it was probably never.

"I cant do this Maxie, I cant be what you want me to be"
"I don't want you to be anything but what you are, I Lov..."
"WILL YOU QUIT SAYING THAT"
Max jumped at the tone in his voice, Zack never shouted, even when he was angry he had never seen the need to shout.
"Zack..."
"No look Max, I cant take this, I've got to get out of here" Zack turned and headed towards the door
"Zack!" Max called out gently; she'd come this far, no point in backing out now.
Zack paused at the door. He couldn't bring himself to turn round. He couldn't look at her; if he did he knew he wouldn't leave.

"I hope it's worth it, keeping up the walls, holding yourself in, because I don't think you really know what you're losing"

Zack turned the knob "I guess that's a chance I have to take" Zack walked out and felt the door shut behind him, as he walked away he pretended it was for the best and he pretended he couldn't hear the quiet sobs of the woman he had left behind

Chapter 4 ~ New Resolutions, New Beginnings?
Zack sat atop the Space needle, he could understand why this was Max's favourite place, up here you could forget everything, even your self. It took Zack a couple of minutes to realise what the wetness in his hands was, he was sweating, He, Zack, CO of the X5 was sweating buckets over a small pint sized X5, he had faced down guns, knifes, he had looked death in the eye and he had never been afraid, and now, now he was terrified. This was Max, he had waited months, hell years to hear this kind of declaration from her and now he just wanted her to take it back. Unrequited love was hard enough, but now he knew Maxie felt the same way, now that he had tasted her lips under his own, felt her body meld against his, knowing now everything they could have, just made leaving worse. She had to know that this wouldn't work. Couldn't work, he wouldn't let it, he couldn't open himself up her, when you open up and let people in once they're close to you they had too much power over you, Zack had watched his brother and sisters over the years, he had saw them all fall time after time forgetting their training and he had watched them get hurt and helped pick up the pieces. He couldn't afford to let that happen to him. Who was he kidding he was afraid, deathly afraid, he knew in his heart how much he loved Max, knew what she could do, with a word with a look he couldn't let it happen.

But she'd said it...., the words he had never thought he would hear, she loved him, him, Zack, not Logan, not one of the guys she had been with over the last couple of years but him. He who had always lectured that ties were no good, that you couldn't get attached, that love, strong deep powerful love that could bring you to your knees was wrong an now......

But It wasn't just him he had to worry about. He could grow complacent, let his guard down, let Max or one of the others get hurt, or even killed. He knew he couldn't handle that. Zack felt himself wrestle with the conflicting emotions inside, watched as an observer as his heart and head argued for supremacy, his head telling him to run and his heart telling to walk back to Maxie, his heart, the other part of him.

Ok Zack Now, well now was decision time, he could either walk away or let the walls down and let Max in and with her, the possible pain that could come. Zack stood and slung his jacket over his shoulder. He knew what he was going to do. Knew that deep down he wasn't strong enough to do anything else.

Max felt the chill start to seep into her bones, she had sat on this sofa and cried for what felt like hours and now she felt drained. She needed to lie down, for a moment she wished she were the type to need eight good hours sleep, just to get away from this for a little while. As she stood up Max heard the door open.

"Kendra, hey Boo, your back early, what's up Mr Multiples disappointing this weekend"
As Max turned around she felt her breath catch as she saw Zack shadowed against door.
"Zack"
"Look Maxie, don't say anything, just let me say what I've come to say before I don't say it"
Max stood in silence and inclined her head to tell him to go on.
"I...I Love You. There I've said it, I love you, not as a sister, not as someone I want to protect, I love you as you are, Max Guevera, My Soul, the other half of me, the other half of my heart, and more importantly than that, I need you, I need you to be there when I go to sleep and there when I wake up. I don't want to run anymore, I want to come home, home to you. I know I'm an arsehole and your probably still mad bu.. mppphh"

Zack found the rest of his words muffled against Max mouth as she threw herself at him, as her mouth opened under his, he lost himself in her embrace. After a couple of minutes they stopped and looked at each other. Zack opened his mouth to continue with his apology.

"Max I.."
"Zack" Max interrupted "Shut Up, did anyone tell you that for the strong silent type, you talk way too much"
"Oh is that right" Zack smiled "Well I guess you're going to have to find a way to keep me quiet"
Max giggled as they tumbled to the floor, "Oh I think I could think of a couple of ways.
As they landed the two lovers lost themselves in their kiss and each other, happy and content to be at home.... At last.
The End?
I was thinking of a sequel to this, showing them moving forward, telling Logan, adjusting to their new lives, I was also going to try and include more of the X-5's now that I know a little more about them, please let me know what you think.

~Eire~
This was in response to Eternity's challenge and was to include the following elements; I just didn't want to give away the ending J

Max and Zack must NOT be together at the beginning of the story. P
Must be set before TKAA P
Zack comes back hurt and Max takes care of him P
Max must wash Zack's hair P
Max takes Zack to the crash and teaches him to dance P
Someone must say "Break me off a piece of that" P
Zack must say I Love You P
Zack and Max are together at the end. P